Playing Legacy Goblins in 2021: STX League Winner

I won our Strixhaven Legacy League with Goblins.

How did I even get here?

This is a question I’m still asking myself. So, so often I thought I was dead in this bracket. But the truth is, my own decisions got me playing tribal Goblins in the year of our lord 2021, despite the existence of combo decks and everybody and their brother and mother playing Plague Engineer. Why did I choose Goblins into this mess of a meta? More importantly, how did I win?

Why Goblins?

I found some Danny Devito alters in the Untap database and couldn’t resist. 

No, I’m not joking. 

Look at these beauties. The Trash Man himself, the irl goblin, in my list. Beautiful. 

I’ve had some previous experience with Goblins to build off of. I grabbed a sideboard from some online player and barely tweaked it. This was a horrible mistake that came back to haunt me nearly every match and I shouldn’t have done it. 

My final 75 features a 60 I love and a 15 I wish I could burn with fire. The only thing I like about the board is that Goblin Trashmaster is there, because it’s only mediocre in game 1 but almost always an all-star postboard. This bad boy counteracts Plague Engineer on his own, blows up all sorts of problematic artifacts, and just generally is a powerhouse. 

I thought that generally my board was fine at the time though, so I submitted my 75. Why this 75, when, again, the UOL metagame tends to be very blue heavy and combo heavy? I had simply resolved to just always fight the blue decks and dodge all combo and let the blue players kill those.

That worked out horrifically. 

How did I actually win? 

Let’s talk about how my idea of “just fight blue and dodge combo” played out. 

I played against eight decks this league, four of which were combo decks, of which I was against Sneak and Show, Omnitell twice, and ANT once. I also fought against Ninjas boarding Plague Engineer twice and against Sharkstill with mainboard Moat twice.

That is four of eight matches against combo, and with some of the worst of the combo matchups to boot. My plan, to say the least, was a terrible one.

Ninjas

Boy was I pleased when I stumbled into this matchup in round one. A fair blue deck that’s tapping out a lot and also relies on artifacts is basically a Goblin player’s dream. I promptly lost. 

Game 1 went poorly. I got down a Goblin Lackey on the first turn, but they had the Ornithopter to stop it. Without a Munitions Expert to kill it and get by, I instead had to play out a Goblin Cratermaker. My opponent eventually plays a Retrofitter Foundry which I happily explode. They then play another that generates about two billion tokens, followed by a third. 

Board: in Goblin Trashmaster, in Chalice of the Void, out a Skirk Prospector, out Goblin Warchief. 

Game 2 was decided by Karakas. I swear if I could fit in more than one, I would. It bounces a Yuriko, the Tiger’s Shadow on turn two, keeps her stranded in hand the rest of the game, and eventually bounces my own Muxus, Goblin Grandee on my opponent’s end step to replay for lethal. The rest of the game was just my opponent being unable to develop because of Karakas gutting the core gameplan. 

Board: out 2 Goblin Lackey, in 2 Pyrokinesis. Lackey is worse on the draw in creature matchups, so I tend to shave them for better interaction. 

Game 3 was a turn three Plague Engineer I sniped with Goblin Cratermaker into a Retrofitter Foundry. I play a Goblin Ringleader with 29 live draws and hit Aether Vial, Mountain, Karakas, and Pyrokinesis. Oof. Luckily, I have a Muxus, Goblin Grandee in hand and five lands, including Cavern of Souls in play. I have 29 goblins still in the deck. Over half my deck is live with the land drops I’ve made. I have over a 99% chance to hit things. 

I draw a land, and proceed to hit double Aether Vial, double Bloodstained Mire, Rishadan Port, Wasteland. At the time I calculated this at a 0.0000000001% chance between the two events. I consider dropping.

1-2, 0-1 overall

Sneak and Show

When I saw this pairing, I legitimately thought I’d vomit. I consider just scooping. I think about how bad it is to go 0-2 drop. I want to cry a little.

Luckily my opponent has an emote named after her that’s just a person punting. 

Both games went like this: turn one Goblin Lackey, turn two Rishadan Port and drop either a Muxus, Goblin Grandee or a Goblin Ringleader. After playing this kind of matchup a bunch in this league, I think this is the ideal hand you look for. 

The basic idea here is that we can and will just die on turn one a lot. It’s just going to happen. So it’s a better idea to set up for a long gameplan where we use Rishadan Port to tax their mana so they can’t develop with cantrips. This in turn puts the pressure on them to actually draw into a turn one combo, which won’t happen every time. I think Goblins should mostly just accept that they’ll lose to Lotus Petal, Ancient Tomb, Show and Tell, or Dark Ritual sometimes, and try and play around with actually winning the game when that doesn’t happen. 

2-0, 1-1 overall

Sharkstill

Sharkstill was a matchup that I mostly thought would be fine. It’s really hard to drop a Standstill against a deck running eight must-answer one drops (Aether Vial and Goblin Lackey) and two more superfluous one drops (Skirk Prospector). The only thing I was nervous about was the maindeck Moat. If I can’t get enough damage down by the time it can be played, I probably don’t have the time to search for Pashilik Mons or Sling-Gang Lieutenant to close out. 

Game 1, he drops the Moat on turn six at 14 life. I have no answer and he has the ability to buy back Shark Typhoon (a name I despise). I scoop to this. 

Board: in Goblin Trashmaster, Surgical Extraction, out Skirk Prospector, Gempalm Incinerator. As Sharkstill runs no true creatures and nothing early, Goblin Lackey will stay in even on the draw. Goblin Trashmaster comes in to just increase the clock. Gempalm Incinerator is not what I want to be doing, as it doesn’t commit to board. 

Game 2 I get off to the races and don’t look back. Turn one Goblin Lackey, turn two Goblin Matron for Muxus, Goblin Grandee, turn three drop Muxus for the win. 

Game 3 my opponent stumbles on mana and the key card is Rishadan Port into another Rishadan Port with my Aether Vial giving me the ability to win underneath it. A slow Goblin Matron into Goblin Ringleader into more boys is enough when my opponent never untapped with more than a single mana source. 

2-1, 2-1 overall

Omnitell UG

When pairings came up and I saw another Show and Tell deck, I wanted to scream. I didn’t even pack the usual tools of Thoughtseize and Stingscourger to deal with it. At least Omnitell isn’t as punished here, as Omniscience makes Scourger sad. 

I go in with the same gameplan: if possible, find and keep Goblin Lackey on one, Rishadan Port on two. I mull to five, but keep Cavern of Souls, Munitions Expert, Sling-Gang Lieutenant, Lackey, and Port. While Sling Gang and ME aren’t ideal, they do conform to my plan, which goes off well enough. I slow down the game, control the board from getting set back by Ice-Fang Coatl and eventually overrun my opponent with dumb green idiots. 

Board: in Goblin Trashmaster, Pyroblast, 2 Red Elemental Blast, out 2 Skirk Prospector, Gempalm Incinerator. 

Game 2 I keep a six that has most of the plan: Lackey, followup. However, I lack Port. I hope that I can just value my opponent out. They go for an early Uro, Titan of Nature’s Wrath and have the threat of reanimating it for awhile, but they also get value from Sylvan Library on quasi-Brainstorm mode. I burn an REB on a Coatl to try and get value off of a free Goblin Ringleader, but this leads into Show and Tell, Omniscience, Cunning Wish, Shared Summons. I blow up the Emrakul, the Aeons Torn with Goblin Cratermaker, but Griselbrand and Uro find a second copy in the top 18 with draws. 

Game 3, I find the gameplan and slow down the game. Lackey gives value and I eventually build up lethal on board. My opponent plays a Show and Tell and has the Veil of Summer to stop my Pyroblast. I get ready for the Emrakul from Omniscience. He plays a Griselbrand instead, while I get a Sling-Gang. This actually gives me potential lethal again, as I’m able to stop Griselbrand from gaining life on the swing in because of it. 

I prefer this much slower Show and Tell deck vastly to ones running Sneak Attack. There’s less pressure for a turn one S&T landing and the turn one is off the table. Slower decks are weaker to the Goblin Ringleader and Goblin Matron plans. 

2-1, 3-1 overall

ANT

I hope to get either an easy win and in or otherwise for a pairing that lets me draw in. My opponent decides to be mean and plays Ad Nauseum Tendrils of Agony this league. They further decide to be mean by having a record that’s much riskier, potentially impossible, to draw into top 8. 

Game 1, I carefully considered my seven with Goblin Lackey into Goblin Cratermaker potentially being able to snipe a Lion’s Eye Diamond on turn two onwards. I decide to mulligan to a six that has Rishadan Port. My opponent goes Swamp Lotus Petal, Dark Ritual, Lion’s Eye Diamond, Infernal Tutor and kills me before I can play. 

Board: in Goblin Trashmaster, Mindbreak Trap, 4 Leyline of the Void, Chalice of the Void, out Gempalm Incinerator, 3 Munitions Expert, Goblin Chainwhirler, 2 Mogg War Marshal. 

I need the speed in interaction and don’t need to worry too much about creatures. Bringing in Xantid Swarm would be downright idiotic, and I want to try and squeeze on mana and stop a storm count from building at all, so I don’t worry about Empty the Warrens. I’m just about as dead to it as I am Tendrils of Agony. 

Game 2 I keep a six with the gameplan: Lackey, Port, Trashmaster. My opponent plays an Island, Ponders, and never finds another land after I drop a turn three Goblin Piledriver. Maybe, I think, maybe I can win this match. 

Game 3 I mull to five and keep a hand with only a Port as gameplan. I pray I can draw a Lackey or anything. Instead I draw three dead Leyline of the Void straight and, having no interaction, I die to Tendrils for 20. 

1-2, 3-2 overall

At this point I think I’m out of top 8 and delete the deck on my account. However, my rounds 1, 2, 4, and 5 opponents all make it into top 8, boosting my OMWP way up, so top 8 it is. 

Top Cut

Our top 8 consisted of both Ninjas players from swiss, Queen’s Gambit, ANT, UG Omnitell, Elves!, Sharkstill, and me. Queen’s Gambit, for the unaware, is a successor archetype to 4c Loam, playing a 4c controlling shell that also leans on the raw card advantage of Queen Marchesa. crzykng’s list is linked here.

Quarterfinals vs Omnitell UG

I’m honestly hazy on the details. This is a stratified matchup in general, and I’ll either win or lose without making many decisions. There isn’t much to say here that I haven’t before. I find all the same gameplan both preboard and postboard and execute it three out of four games. 

Not to beat the dead horse, but this really is just my solution to Combo: just die on turn one to set up for a denial plan. It worked wonders in this league, with me finishing 3-1 in matches and 8-4 in games. 

Semifinals vs Ninjas

I get the chance for revenge, and know that my finals match will be against the Sharkstill player I already beat, who eliminated the ANT player. Two fair blue decks in a row. I can actually taste the tournament at this point. 

Still, I have to get through 3 Plague Engineer first, which is not a joke. Somehow, now that I don’t need luck anymore, I get it in spades. 

Game 1 my opponent mulligans to four while I’m on the play. I get a turn one Goblin Lackey. They scoop. 

Game 2 my opponent again mulligans. They open on Island, Ponder. I open on Cavern of Souls into Goblin Lackey. They play a turn two Ornithopter. I have turn two Munitions Expert into Ringleader. They scoop. 

Board same as previous match against them. 

Game 3 my luck turns on me, as I open double Badlands, double Wasteland, Mountain, double Aether Vial. Mulligan to no lands. Mulligan into a hand that has only Munitions Expert into Goblin Ringleader. This is quite bad into Changeling Outcast, Changeling Outcast plus Ornithopter, Yuriko, the Tiger’s Shadow. 

Game 4, my opponent again mulligans down, this time to five. I get the same Lackey, Munitions Expert your Ornithopter line and dropped a free Goblin Cratermaker as an out-front answer to Plague Engineer. My opponent Thoughtseizes away something irrelevant after I miss an Aether Vial trigger, but my board expands regardless, and my opponent is now on Plague Engineer or bust. They go bust. 

One more match. 

Finals vs Sharkstill

This match felt like I could not lose going into it, and my opening hand helped a lot. Double Cavern of Souls with Mog War Marshal, Munitions Expert, Goblin Matron, Pashalik Mons, and Goblin Warchief. This meant that any land drop allowed for a hyper flexible hand that played out fast but also had an out for Moat, ideal for game 1 against this deck. I played Cavern on one and War Marshal on two, topdecked another Cavern for turn three Warchief, and proceeded to double spell for a few turns. By the time my opponent got down Moat at a low life total, I was able to play out Sling-Gang Lieutenant into Pashalik Mons for over 16 damage.

Game 2 I opened with double Aether Vial, Goblin Lackey, Wasteland, Mountain, Mog War Marshal, and some other gobs in hand. My opponent leads on Island, Ponder. I lead on Mountain, Vial. He Ponders into a fetchland. I decide to bait, and go for a second Vial  before land drop. My opponent fetches a Volcanic Island and Brainstorms into nothing and I get to Wasteland him down to one land with two resolved Vials. After getting down a Lackey and smacking it into a War Marshal, my opponent forgets to Predict on upkeep, and messes up their gameplan. On to game 3. 

Board: in Chalice of the Void, Goblin Trashmaster, out Goblin Chainwhirler, Munitions Expert

Game 3 is a similar opening to game 1: double Cavern of Souls, Goblin Lackey, Goblin Ringleader, Sling-Gang Lieutenant, Skirk Prospector,Rishadan Port. I keep with the obvious play being Lackey into Ringleader. This happens to mean I draw a second Lackey on turn two from the Ringleader as I flip Badlands, Bloodstained Mire, Wasteland. I decide to go on the Port offensive to slow his development, since I was relatively out of gas. While my opponent cantrips and develops, I get to play out a Mog War Marshal off the top, then drop the free Sling Gang. On the next swing, Sling Gang is taken out via Lightning Bolt and my opponent drops to six. Untap. Play a land. Tap blue, blue white, white… Jace the Mind Sculptor, bounce a token. If I find any single point of damage off the top, it’s game. The draw?

A second Sling-Gant Lieutenant

Wrap Up

So would I encourage you to even play this deck? 

If you want to win, hell no, at least not right now. 

With Urza’s Saga, Pithing Needle is everywhere, which attacks Aether Vial and Sling-Gang Lieutenant. Plague Engineer still exists. Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer is basically a better Goblin Lackey. Decks playing Endurance and Prismatic Ending have more ways to stop you, not to mention Galvanic Relay has powered Storm up even more. Even Dragon Stompy now fights you better with Fury being able to pick clean the board.

I might mess around with Food Chain builds, however. They get access to more explosive draws and also get to play with Veil of Summer to stop Force of Will. I’m going to try an all-in, 4 Muxus, Goblin Grandee list with some Elvish Spirit Guides or Simian Spirit Guides. 

Taking Goblins out for a spin was a flight of fancy. I honestly expected to miss Top 8 long before I even saw how many combo decks I would face, but it was a worthwhile experience and I think it goes to show that even bad decks can put up good results and that deck knowledge is key to success. 

Finally, the time honored tradition.

Props: The T.O.s who run these leagues for free. Goblin Cratermaker for being the best two drop in the deck ever. Cavern of Souls and Rishadan Port for carrying me hard. My opponents, who were all good sports about everything. Muxus, Goblin Grandee for usually winning me the game. Aether Vial on zero for being silly. My luck for high rolling my combo matchups.

Slops: Wasteland was bad this league and I wish I’d had extra basics most times. Goblin Ringleader and Muxus, Goblin Grandee for whiffing that one time. My entire sideboard minus Goblin Trashmaster but especially Leyline of the Void. Me, for picking that sideboard in the first place. My internet, for being slow.

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